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squidward: spongebob, were you dropped on your head as a baby? spongebob: aww giggles how did you know? grins squidward: I'm a fortune teller

on May 16, 2011

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My girlfriend invited me to her house, I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy, she whispered in my ear, "i have feelings for you, shall we have s*x" , I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car, I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: "you`ve won my trust"... Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car.

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