Posts

The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

on

There are 3 meanings behind "Liking someones status." 1) I agree. 2) I realize this is about me so Im liking it to rub in your face 3) I want to bang you :)

on

Hot Girl: Haha what a nerd! Me: He`ll probably be your boss one day, so be careful about what you say... Nerd: No I wont be her boss, because I don`t plan on becoming a pimp. Whole Class: Ohhhh Sh*t!

on

...condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don`t do your job properly, I lose mine for 9 months!"

on

Daughter - IPod. Son - IPhone. Mom - iPad. Dad - I Pay.-_-

on

My girlfriend invited me to her house, I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy, she whispered in my ear, "i have feelings for you, shall we have s*x" , I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car, I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: "you`ve won my trust"... Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car.

on

lazy fact #7256452565156897 you were too lazy to read that number.

on

Dear MTV, I was wondering if I could get my "M" back, you know, since you arent using it. Sincerely, _usic

on

Me: I am a Ninja Samantha: No youre not. Me: Did you just see me do that? Samantha: Do what? Me: Exactly.

on

Life without music, is like Spongebob without Patrick

on

Only A Chemist can Understand a Doctor`s Handwriting!!!

on

Fighting the urge to put a sarcastic comment on someone else`s status

on

3 Things that i learned in school: 1. Text without looking. 2. Sleeping without getting caught. 3. Teamwork on tests...

on

Putting "K" in a text message not only shows that you are an a**h*le, but it also shows you are a lazy fuck who abbreviates a two-letter word.

on

LOL used to mean Laugh Out Loud now it means "I have nothing else to say"

on

WE ALL HAVE 3 ADDRESSES MEMORIZED... 1. Your own address 2. Your best friends address 3. P Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. (;

on

Teenagers;..... The most misunderstood people on the planet earth and are treated like children but expected to act like adults

on

Toothbrush: Sometimes i feel Like i Have the worst Job In the World !!!..... Toilet Paper : YEAH RIGHT !

on

Dear Icebergs, Sorry To Hear About Global Warming. -Sincerely, Titanic.

on

You miss the days when you could safely push someone into a pool, now you gotta worry about the iPod, the cellphone, maybe a PSP, you push someone in, it costs you $939.

on