Posts

Wow. You guys are so cool for taking a profile picture. Of yourself. In a mirror. In your bathroom. With a toilet as your background. Nice. XD

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Boy says to girl : would you wear socks if you had no feet..? Girl: no.....!! Boy: then why do you wear a bra?

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THAT KICK-ASSS MOMENT WHEN THE TEACHER CALLS ON YOU BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT YOU WEREN`T PAYING ATTENTION AND YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION RIGHT. IT`S LIKE WHAT NOW. B!TCH. (;

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"IM DEFINITELY GOING TO SEE THAT MOVIE!".. I never go..

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Internet connection failed!: ❏ Wait patiently. ✔ Rape the refresh button.

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"Hey,You awake?.. No I taught myself to text in my sleep. :X

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Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie..

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YOUTUBE MESSAGE:This video is not able to play in your country. Where the f**k do I live Narnia?

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Bella: You are pale white and ice cold, i know what you are. Edward: Say it........Out loud.................SAY IT! Bella: Vanilla Ice-cream

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6 of the worst pains in the world: 1) knocking your elbow or knee against a table or chair real hard. 2) burning your tongue on a hot drink. 3) stepping on a sharp rock or prickle. 4) paper cuts. 5) stubbing your toe 6) biting you tongue! like if you have experienced any of these excruciating pains before! ^ UM you sort of forgot getting kicked in the balls.. and childbirth... ^^You also forgot listening to "Friday" by Rebecca Black....

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A bus full of ugly people met with an accident, all of them died. Before entering heaven, they were given one wish, the first said: "make me beautiful" and it happened. The rest followed the same wish, when it came to the last person he was laughing. The voice asked him: why are you laughing? what is your wish? The last person answered: make them all ugly again!

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Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days to many stupid security cameras

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Broccoli: I m not happy with my looks...I look like a tree. Walnut: and I look like a brain! :/ Mushroom: that"s not too bad... I look like an umbrella..Banana: can we please change the topic!! =DX_X

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Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.... Son: No.. Dad: "The girl is Bill Gates` daughter." Son:" Then ok " Dad goes to Bill Gates... Dad: "I want your daughter to marry my son." Bill Gates: "No" Dad: "My son is d CEO of the World Bank." Bill Gates: "Then ok " . Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.. Dad:" Apoint my son as the CEO of your bank." President:"No!" Dad: "He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates." President:"Then ok...!!" This is BUSINESS.

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Wife: Listen, your best friend is getting married to a really horrible girl, why dont you stop him? . Husband: Why should I stop him? He never stopped me!

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TODAY, I saw a cute little six or seven year old girl wearing Hannah Montana socks. I asked her if she liked Hannah Montana. She said no; she liked to wear these socks, because she got to step on Miley Cyrus every time she walked. I love this kid.

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