Posts

Dear Icebergs, Sorry To Hear About Global Warming. -Sincerely, Titanic.

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If you receive some message that says "Send this to all your friends", please consider me not your friend..:|

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EINSTEINS THEORY OF RELATIVITY - "u get ur hands on a hot pan and every second seems to pass by as an hour ... u get ur hands on a hot chick and every hour seems to pass by as seconds "

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You miss the days when you could safely push someone into a pool, now you gotta worry about the iPod, the cellphone, maybe a PSP, you push someone in, it costs you $939.

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WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!?…………..WHERES THE FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

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I wish I could set my relationship status to “I give up.”

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Computer: do you agree to the terms and conditions? me: I don’t f●●king care. get me to the good stuff!

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Wanting to scream at someone..”SHUT THE HELL UP”

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Making people laugh while drinking!

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Take a lesson from the weather it never gets affected by criticism!

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i have a heart problem.The doc says there are two solutions,ICU or U C Me ♥

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Get Up, Stand Up, stand up for your right Get Up, Stand Up, dont give up the fight

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I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell BACK-STABBER and I put down your name.

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► Play the moments. ▌▌ Pause the memories. ■ Stop the pain. ◄◄ Rewind the happiness.

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I did not Slap you, i high- fived your face!

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I wish Facebook had a "Nobody Cares" Button! :D

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Waking up from a Great Dream and trying to fall back asleep so you can continue the dream.

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That moment of relief, when you almost choke on your Bubble Gum.

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ex-boyrfriend and ex-girlfriend run into eachother boy:hey! listen, i really miss you girl:*sneezes* boy:bless you , are you sick? girl:no, i m just allergic to bullsh!t.

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i feel bad for the kids these days....their cartoons SUCK :/

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"Do you behave like this at home?!" Yes, actually.

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that one person that you can talk to for hours without getting bored ♥

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squidward: spongebob, were you dropped on your head as a baby? spongebob: aww *giggles* how did you know? *grins* squidward: I'm a fortune teller

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Secretly every teen looks at little kids on a trampoline, jungle gym, or bounce house, and thinks,"You lucky little b*stard, I would kill to be on that and not look like a f*cking retard."

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This blonde went to the pizza place and ordered a pizza. The pizza guy asked her if she wanted it cut into six pieces or twelve. “Oh, six,” she said. “I could never eat twelve pieces."

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Boy: "Hey baby, want to come over tonite?" Girl: "Sure! What do you want to do?" Boy: "I ll give you a hint. It involves pillows and blankets ;)" Girl: "OH MY GOD! WE ARE GONNA BUILD A FORT!?"

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Me: "Hey, I would Like a Coke Please." Waiter: "Is Pepsi OK?" Me: "Is Monopoly Money Ok?"

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President Bush tried and failed. President Clinton tried and failed. President Obama tried and succeeded. . The moral of this is... If you want someone dead, hire a black man.

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Single doesnt always mean lonely and Relationship doesnt always mean happy.

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Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you.

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When I was younger I remember seeing two drops of rain rolling down the window and pretending it was a race. ♥

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